Vegetarian Jokes

Being Vegetarian is a serious move, but at the same time not. My lifestyle is fun and lively.
There's a lot of things you'll discover in a Vegetarian Lifestyle. The more you eat veggies , the more you create juices.

I will share a story.
One night, I'm done jogging along U.P. Oval, ( my favorite place in U.P.) I decided to check if Ate Marge still has something veg for dinner. ( Ate Marge sells vegetarian food in U.P. campus along Ipil residence )
I was lucky , there was tokwa and spring beans, and so that was my meal for dinner.
While eating, someone sat in front of me,......... after few minutes he asked :
" Vegetarian po kayo ?"
I sometimes do this out of observing people's reaction I said :

" Uhm , Hindi .........Ano ba yung vegetarian ? "
He said :
" Uhm, yung hindi kumakain ng kahit anong may mukha , ....gulay lang talaga "
So I asked him :
" Aw, bakit mo naman natanong kung vegetarian ako ? "
he said :
" Kasi , puro gulay lang inorder mo, tapos tinanong mo pa kung may halo ba yung baguio beans. Vegetarian kasi kami dahil Adventist convert ang parents ko, hindi kami kumakain ng kahit anong may mukha " ( but he was eating fish that time )
I replied :
" Aw ganun ba, so hindi ako vegetarian kasi kumakain ako ng kalabasa eh ",.......hehehe

I would like to share this from

The Inevitable Vegetarian Sex Jokes
True Story: I was at a wedding recently, and as usual passing up the meat, and asking for more potatoes, when I received the inevitable question: "so, where do you get your protein...?" to which my date announced to the entire table without batting an eye, "she swallows!" I was not interrogated about my vegetarianism from that moment forward!
Anonymous, believe it or not
What do you call a vegan guy who likes to pleasure himself?
A non-dairy creamer.
Etan W.
A young vegan couple decided to spice up their life so they bought "The Joy of Sex." A friend later asked them if the book had helped. Disgusted, the lady replied, "We didn't know what we were getting into. That book goes against everything we believe." The friend, a bit surprised, asked them if they were against free sexual expression. "No," said the man, "but you wouldn't believe what they want us to put in our mouths!"
There was a vegan and her husband wanted head. She said that she didn't eat weiners. [Unless her husband was vegan too....]
Why do vegans give good head?
Because they are used to eating nuts.
I may be vegan but I still eat pussy.
Why are all lesbians vegetarian?
Because they don't eat meat.


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